How do teens defend themselves in their own society?

A teenage society isn't that friendly. There are always direct and indirect battles when it comes to popularity, success and even romantic affairs. It's pretty much like an adult society, only on a slightly lesser scale. Even so, if one is too weak to cope up with the life of being in a teenage community, if one cannot establish a place for himself in such kind of society, he renders himself vulnerable to pain and feeling of aloofness, and, at a certain extent, to events that might scar him for life.

But then again, it has always been a remarkable ability of man to adapt in any environment he's in, to treat any place as if it's commonplace. Teenagers over the years were also able to develop several strategies in order for them to be recognized and be treated well by people of their own age. Some unconsciously apply these strategies, some apply these intentionally. All of these things are products of the wonderful, probably ever-evolving human mind.

So what exactly are these "strategies?" I'm not an expert psychologist, but as I undergo adolescence, as I continue to communicate with people who're as old as I am, I was able to notice some patterns in how teenagers behave when with other teenagers; some actions a good number of adolescents do, some characteristics many adolescents possess. Of course there are probably more to add to my list, but here are some things I've observed as I try to understand how teens cope up with the life of being, well, a teen.

1. Some tend to establish a "vain" attitude.

I've noticed that this psychological tendency is more common in girls. Some teenagers tend to create an intimidating personality, a pseudo-narcissistic attitude in an attempt to either attract attention or to scare away potential critics. This vanity concept often includes a "don't judge me because you don't know me" attitude. This is most probably due to the fact that teenagers are quite vulnerable to criticisms, since this is the stage where they are making their way to adulthood, just like how a larva becomes a butterfly by becoming a pupa.

This is a typical, yet quite effective strategy among teenagers, since most of the people I know who's known for being "vain" is fairly popular with their fellow teenagers. However, this practice can be destructive if the "vain" teenager becomes too over-confident, to the point that he/she rebuffs constructive criticisms about him/her, which leads to losing friends and creating enemies.

2. Some use their talents to gain attention.

Everyone is good at something, and it's perfectly normal that we use this to our own advantage. We utilize our abilities either to impress or simply make friends. There are guitarists, painters, singers and dancers; the teenage society has all kinds of talented people; thus, the battle for fame. Be it direct or indirect, some teenagers clash with others to show off their skills and to determine who's the best. A real-life talent show, that is. Teens do this either because they just love a little competition to heat things up, or they really want to outshine the others.

This is a very common teenage self-defense mechanism. Talents are a teenager's tools to stay recognized and admired in the community. But then again, too much of everything is bad. Too much fame, if not handled properly by the person that has it, can intoxicate him to becoming some kind of a jerk. Also, some teens become so desperate to outshine others, or so envious of a well-received fellow, to the point that they resort to attempts of humiliating their "enemy."

This is why one should be careful if one's really into fame. He must be careful with himself, with his enemies, and even with his friends; he must know them carefully, for they might be crabs inside (not literally), whose pincers they'll use to pull him down, down, down.

3. Some keep themselves updated with the latest trends.

Fashion, gadgets, and music are the usual things that make a teenager's life go round. This is why most adolescents prefer to keep track of the latest trends when it comes to those three. Some do this because it's their passion, while some do this just so they won't be "left out." Some teenagers are unconsciously anxious of being criticized about "being old." It's a natural instinct of a human being to catch up with the rest in terms of everything; however, this is not always necessary, or even beneficial. So watch out for your pocket as you buy yourself the newest stuff just to be in!

4. Some tend to create a sobriquet.

From thefreedictionary:
Sobriquet - An affectionate or humorous nickname; an assumed name.

This is quite common in teenagers. Having a nickname of some sort gives one the feeling of uniqueness, the feeling of being known at something. This is why some teenagers give themselves, or their peer groups a name that aims to arouse attention as much as possible, or just to make themselves feel original or just to strengthen their bond as friends. My classmates usually call each other "bhez," (best, as in best friend) "babes," "pakner" (partner), and/or many others. Some of them even form mini-family trees, wherein most of the members are girls.

Some teenagers tend to play around with their names, which is another approach to express originality; to make other people know that he/she exists, and is unique. I'm not a fan of being called by anything other than my own name, but I confess myself interested at how teenagers like me behave to preserve their existence in our community, with alternate names being one of the effective strategies.

5. Some attach themselves to popular people.

Probably the most typical psychological tendencies among teenagers is to stick with people whom they can depend on in terms of socializing, and this the forte of popular people. This usually happens with transferees in schools trying to adjust themselves in a new environment. It is a natural instinct of a human being to keep himself/herself close with people whom he/she can relate with, whom he/she is comfortable with. However, this might not always be the case. No, rather, this is not always the case.

Of course everyone has heard of "social climbing." This is very common both in teenage and adult societies. Some people tend to attach themselves to famous people in an attempt to look "famous" as well. The attachment is either commensalistic or parasitic, depending on the person's motives.

This strategy is a double-edged sword; it has the potential to hurt others and oneself, which is why observing this thing in one's life is pretty bad. But more and more people do this "social climbing" thing, and we must admit that we can't do anything about it. But I think I can say this one thing; I believe that simply being yourself will gain you friends, with less efforts and less time.

6. Some resort to bullying.

This is probably the most classic teen-to-teen relationship. I've read countless bully stories, and even witnessed some, and I've noticed some common reasons for bullying in the first place. It's either they:

- are misunderstood/lonely
- are attempting to preserve their state in society
- just find a person annoying (quite obvious, but, oh well)
- bully for the sake of it

No matter what the reasons are, we must admit that bullying does infinitely more harm than good. If one is about to resort to bullying, that one must not expect to be admired, or even understood, but to be punished and condemned, for people usually respond to antagonism by ignoring it, or fighting back; man isn't inclined to reacting positively to a negative stimulus. Yes, the best way to destroy an enemy is to make him one's friend, but not all people are willing to counter a frown with a smile.

The human mind truly is complex and innovative, to have been able to develop such interesting sociological "strategies" through the years that can be succinctly discussed in a blog article. What I put here is solely based on my observations, and I can't say that my observations are 100% correct. But hopefully, this humble article gave you, dear reader, a little idea about the human mind works, and how my feeble mind works. Good day.